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I see the pain in our world, in humans around me and I feel as if I have been waiting for the pain to heal. But it only gets worse! I may have come a long way the past year but I know now that I am afraid to let go of my pain and my fear! The pain and fear is what’s holding me back! So I am holding on to old patterns that are not good for me in order to be in control of what I know and have always known! But I want to let go of my pain and my fear. To live a different life. To open up and welcome love and caring into my life and heart and to work for a better world for the humans in it. I know it’s not going to be easy and I am willing to try not to fear judgment or ridicule. I believe in good, in you and in me, that I am supposed to be a force of love. But I am still procrastinating..

I need help. I dont know what’s wrong with me. The more I work the more I suck at it. The longer the relationship the less confident and safe I feel in it. The slimmer I get the uglier I look to myself. It‘s like good things create massive discomfort in my head. It‘s like I only deserve average things…

I turned 50 and it destroyed all my confidence…

Nothing much, i just feel physically and mentally exhausted this week

I feel sad and exhausted! Life is hard and rough! So many hurdles so many challenges never resting just again and again and again! Can I please leave this wheel of life and find myself a spot where I can find rest, healing, quiet time and be fulfilled by nothing and no one and no drama or decision making!! I saw a girl getting hit by a car on my way! I could have been me! But it was not! I’m okay! I live I breathe I am here! I look at people but no one sees me! The hurt the sadness! But I am still here! Living life!

I reached out, carefully, the online equivalent of tapping someone&#8217;s shoulder in a bar, an insta follow. First from my account then from my near identical burner that I have some nosey ppl blocked from. After a few days of nothing I unfollowed, defeated, hopeful that it&#8217;s an unused account. Today I looked him up again on insta, my Xmas misdemeanor, and the profile pic has changed. Which means it&#8217;s active. Which means he&#8217;s logged in. Which means he would&#8217;ve seen the follow notification, which stays after you unfollowed until you refresh. And he&#8217;s ignored it. I feel so deflated. I should&#8217;ve known it was all just talk. I should&#8217;ve stayed invisible, in the shadows, a nothing to nobody. I have so much brain time to this guy, I&#8217;m such an idiot.

Not how to keep going when I feel like this.

He drove past me today. He was still in my head anyway. I&#8217;m so close to reaching out. I don&#8217;t know how else to stop feeling so sad.

I can&#8217;t be happy. Because if I&#8217;m happy, it will mean everyone around me will be sad.

Sisterhood space

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Get in touch

Contact us and help build our community

We looove burgers

Sisterhood space

Leave a comment to make someone feel better. (Psst: Reading and supporting others will make you feel great too!)

Get in touch

Contact us and help build our community

We looove burgers

Leave a comment to make someone feel better.
(Psst: Reading and supporting others will make you feel great too!)